I Can't Keep Up.....

I seriously need a maid. How am I suppose to keep a tidy house, work, and be a mom? If someone has an answer, pass it on to me because I'm desperate. Now before you volunteer Dan to pitch in, he does his fair share of the work. Plus, he technically has three jobs. I can't ask him to do more. In fact, he's working tonight (and worked last night). He even put away laundry today.

So back to the maid....I need to start a "maid fund." Yeah, I don't think it'll work. I'm actually in the middle of cleaning, except I'm taking a break. I managed to have Will sit in his playpen and watch Blue's Clues for an hour (he actually sat there mesmerized). I did feel guilty. But before you go criticizing my parenting skills, I sat for a good half an hour and read to him (I try reading to him everyday). So, no he doesn't spend all day watching the television. In fact, I don't put it on for him when we're home. Anyway, I digress. He then played with his piano for a few. During that time, I cleaned every room in the apartment except for the kitchen and bathroom. I think I'll call it quits once I'm done with the kitchen.

Enough with cleaning. I can't keep up with anything else. The workout that I long for so much hasn't happened. Honestly, I don't think it will. I'm too tired. My crocheting/knitting has been nonexistent. I do, however, manage to read. I do so on the bus to and from work. I probably read about ten pages a day, but it's something.

Forget about reading blogs! Sorry guys, not that I don't like reading them, but I don't sit in front of the computer long enough to digest some of the posts and try to comment. I've given up on them (for now). I feel guilty about that, too.

Well, I'm cutting this short. The kitchen is screaming my name out. If I don't go there soon, I think there will be a mutiny. I'll leave you with this wonderful picture.

So What Have I been Up To?

There's been a lot going on and not a lot at the same time. My head is spinning out of control with all that's going through my mind (work, school, work, school). I've been job searching, but not as hard as I should be. Going back to school to get a masters' degree is dancing around my head. I complain about the lack of time I have right now. Can I handle being in school again? What should I do? If I found the right job that paid me a decent amount of money, do I really need to go back? With a recession looming (or in a recession), is it wise to add to my student loan debt? How about the house Dan and I want? And baby #2?

Exercising has also been nagging me. I can't make it to the gym for the life of me. Dan's new job has required him to stay late (very often), which has been a real bitch. I'm stuck. I can't go anywhere. By the time he gets home, I'm exhausted from doing everything. His hours are getting a little better because they're fully staffed now and the slow season is now. So, maybe I'll be able to squeeze at least one workout throughout the week.

It's kind of upsetting to me this lack of exercise. The reason being is that I've lost a lot of weight. I'm the thinnest I've been in about 12 years. The problem? I'm not fit. I'm flabby. So, I don't feel good about my body. I didn't feel this way when I was over 200lbs. Why? Because even though I was fat, I worked out. Exercising is essential in my life. Without it, I feel lost.

Anyway, that's what's been going on (at least in my head). Besides that, I've been enjoying William to the fullest. He's such a wonderful baby. I love him so much. On Mother's Day, Dan got him to "write" on my card. Man, did I start crying. It was the best card I've ever received. I will keep that forever. He's finally saying "mama." Actually, he's been very talkative lately. It's fun seeing all of his little expressions and how much he enjoys having us around. He's very sweet.

I will leave you with pictures of him: