Tuesday, June 03, 2008

So What Have I been Up To?

There's been a lot going on and not a lot at the same time. My head is spinning out of control with all that's going through my mind (work, school, work, school). I've been job searching, but not as hard as I should be. Going back to school to get a masters' degree is dancing around my head. I complain about the lack of time I have right now. Can I handle being in school again? What should I do? If I found the right job that paid me a decent amount of money, do I really need to go back? With a recession looming (or in a recession), is it wise to add to my student loan debt? How about the house Dan and I want? And baby #2?

Exercising has also been nagging me. I can't make it to the gym for the life of me. Dan's new job has required him to stay late (very often), which has been a real bitch. I'm stuck. I can't go anywhere. By the time he gets home, I'm exhausted from doing everything. His hours are getting a little better because they're fully staffed now and the slow season is now. So, maybe I'll be able to squeeze at least one workout throughout the week.

It's kind of upsetting to me this lack of exercise. The reason being is that I've lost a lot of weight. I'm the thinnest I've been in about 12 years. The problem? I'm not fit. I'm flabby. So, I don't feel good about my body. I didn't feel this way when I was over 200lbs. Why? Because even though I was fat, I worked out. Exercising is essential in my life. Without it, I feel lost.

Anyway, that's what's been going on (at least in my head). Besides that, I've been enjoying William to the fullest. He's such a wonderful baby. I love him so much. On Mother's Day, Dan got him to "write" on my card. Man, did I start crying. It was the best card I've ever received. I will keep that forever. He's finally saying "mama." Actually, he's been very talkative lately. It's fun seeing all of his little expressions and how much he enjoys having us around. He's very sweet.

I will leave you with pictures of him:


all that's right, or not said...

Girl I know those feelings. All to well! I finally found a gym with child care, and I use it! I did recently go back to school too. LOL I am always complaining I have no time, that probably never changes. The more kids you have the harder it will be. You'll do what right....you always have.

gretchen said...

I can relate to all of this too! I don't know if it will make you feel better or worse, but I didn't feel like I got back in control of exercising until my kids were 2 years old. Both times, it seems like it took that long for me to figure it out. (And for them to be not quite as needy.) You can try to take advantage of the nice weather and take Will for a walk, etc. But I know it's not the same, and it's hard to find the energy.

Hang in there!