Sunday, December 11, 2005

Random Thoughts

My life has been very busy lately. Between being sick, crocheting, working out, and all the thinking I do, I'm surprised I haven't collapsed. I just realized that I think way too much. I try to analyze every single detail that goes on in my day to day life. I fill myself with warm and happy thoughts so that my day goes better, which works for the most part. But I also thrive on thinking bad stuff. It gives me such a weird energy more so than thinking positive. It's addicting, too. The more I think bad stuff the more thoughts pour into my head. I wonder why that is? I also don't realize that I'm doing it. When I do catch myself, I change my thought pattern, but wish I hadn't.

One rule of thumb while waiting tables is not to worry about the tip. If you disconnect yourself from the outcome, then your outcome will be good. This guy at work always says that and he could sell ice to an Eskimo. He also makes tons of money. I will start applying that way of thinking to my everyday. I become concerned whether I'll have a good day and things will go my way or not. The "not" is what I end up attracting because I'm focusing on making sure it doesn't go that way. I want to enjoy life, not think about it.

I've just discovered that I'm lactose intolerant. I know I have been for a while, but never paid any attention to how my body reacts when I have dairy. So, yesterday I went to the supermarket bought some lactaid pills and lactaid milk. Unfortunately for me, I love dairy way too much to give it up. I'll just have to make the best of it.

I actually got jealous last night. I'm not getting into details about it because people will start speculating. I don't care for any of that nonsense. I'm bringing it up because I can't believe it actually happened. Although, I'm extremely happy about the news, it did bother me to the point that I cried. I don't like that feeling. I never envy others. In fact, it makes me very happy when I hear that friends and family are having good things occur to them. I don't wish bad on others. Very rarely, do I even curse off someone who cuts me off. I find it to be a waste of energy. To react in the manner that I did last night, rather perturbed me. As a result, I sat down and meditated to find out why it caused me such great agitation.

My crocheting has taken off. I'm making so many projects that I'm afraid I won't be able to make the xmas gifts. I have enough yarn where I would be able to make a giant afghan out of the scraps. At least, I'm having fun making all of the stuff. I do admit that I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the deadlines I've set-up. This is also my cue that I should end this post and continue working on the baby blanket I'm making.

This is basically what's been going on with me. Nothing really exciting, but enough to keep me busy. Till next time...

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