My Funk

On my way home from work, I came to the realization that I'm in the middle of a funk. How did I come to this realization? Well, I ripped my brand new jeans (the ones that I wasn't crazy about). They're not even 24 hours old and they're ripped in the knee. As I was trying to sit down on the bus, the seat in front of me was torn and had a sharp piece of metal sticking out. Of course, I caught my jeans on it.

When Dan sat down, I showed him what happened and cried. I cried and laughed because it's just absolutely ridiculous. He tried calming me down, but man those tears wouldn't stop coming down. After a while, I calmed down. What else could I possibly do? At least the rip isn't huge.

I know why this all happening to me. I'm worn out and I'm attracting all of this weird stuff. My days begin at 5 and don't end until midnight. I'm out of the house by 7 and don't get home until 7. I try to keep some normalcy around the house by making dinner so that it doesn't feel that all I do is work. It also irks me that the baby is only awake for an hour after we get home. The only times I get to enjoy him awake are on the weekends.

I need to change my frame of mind in order to start attracting some good stuff. This will be hard to do because it's hard getting out of a funk once you're in it. Meditation is out of the question. There's no way I could stay awake long enough to relax.

Anyway, time to go. It's midnight and I still have to finish the dishes. Ughhhh......

I Hate Today

Today is one of those days that I want to throw things at people. In fact, the sight of people piss me off. It has been a really, really long time since I've felt this way. My morning started off with finding out that part of my laundry is missing (we have our laundry done for us). I opened the bag to grab my favorite jeans in the whole world and they weren't there. My other pair of jeans, which I don't really care for weren't there either. I don't know what else is missing, but I had someone else's laundry mixed in with mine.

This may be petty, but it ruined my day. You know why? I'll tell you. I don't have any clean jeans for tomorrow. Guess what I had to do after work? Yup, buy a pair. Do you know what happens when I try to buy jeans? I want to smack the living crap out of designers who forget that there are women out there that actually have fuckin curves!!

By no means am I heavy (anymore). I'm not skinny either. I have hips and a big butt. My tops are usually mediums. My bra size is normal (well, they're a bit bigger since I'm nursing). I fit into a size 10 (well the jeans I have at home are 10s). Apparently, there are different size 10s. I went to Old Navy and tried on 4 pairs of jeans, two 10s and two 12s. None of them fit me right, but I did buy one of them. I bought the size 12 Classic Fit Flare. They look great up until it reaches my waist. Guess what? They're huge around my waist and my underwear stick out. You would think the size 10 would fit. Nope. They were too tight and my underwear really stuck out.

How is a woman suppose to feel after trying on clothes that just don't fit right? There's nothing wrong with my body. Could I loose some more weight? Sure, but is it critical to do so? No. I felt totally not sexy or good about myself after I left there. This is so frustrating.

Get it together designers! Make clothes that fit!!!

My Guys!

So What Happens When You're Experimenting in the Kitchen?

You end up with a tummy ache. I was trying to make chocolate mousse, but instead I ended up with more truffles (I'll explain in a little bit). It was the best mistake I've ever made. I might have mentioned this before, but I want to start my own truffle business. In order to do so, I need to come up with my own recipe (only fair).

Well I did and not on purpose. Not to brag, but what I came up with today was fabulous. Those of you that know me, know that I don't brag about my cooking. In fact, I tend to be very critical and I'm never satisfied with the outcome. Although I have to perfect this recipe (after all, it was suppose to be chocolate mousse), I was very satisfied with the outcome.

The truffles were rolled in roasted hazelnuts that were absolutely delicious. My secret ingredient made these chocolates stand out. The flavors came together beautifully. I can't wait until my friends and family try these out. I want to see their reactions!

So how did I go from chocolate mousse to truffles? Well, I ran out of heavy cream, which didn't allow me to fluff the chocolate up as much as it should have. I didn't want to throw away the chocolate, so I rolled it up. Since I did whip up the cream, my truffles are pretty soft. I actually have to keep them refrigerated. Nonetheless, they are still yummy!

Continuing with the kitchen theme, I made a pretty good meatloaf. I'm not sure if it tastes like a meatloaf should, but it was pretty damn good. As a side dish, I made mashed potatoes. My original idea was to make potatoes au gratin, but I had run out of the heavy cream. There was no way I was going to venture out today with the storm. So, mashed potatoes it was.

Well, I don't have to worry about cooking tomorrow. We have plenty of leftovers. Baking is also out of the question. With all the truffles I've made in the last few days, the last thing I need is any more sweets.

Time to go to sleep! I'm exhausted! Even though I didn't go into work today, I never got a chance to take a nap. I've been up since 5 am. Yawn.

They Were Yummy!!!

My truffles were received very well at work! The flavors blended together and smoothed out the brandy. I'm so glad they worked. Now that I've made them, I have to make them my own. Chat with you later!!!

Truffle Time (Maybe Not)

For the first time tonight, I tried making truffles. Well, I faked the funk on truffles once because I had extra ganache. So, it doesn't really count. Anyway, I followed this recipe that called for brandy and a chocolate coating.

The brandy over powers the chocolate. So much so that all I could taste is the brandy and I felt it in my chest. The chocolate coating didn't workout for me. The chocolate didn't melt enough, but it was at the temp the recipe called for. Well, I dumped the chocolate covering and just rolled the truffles in Dutch processed cocoa and powdered sugar. Hopefully, the flavors will come together overnight and I'll have yummy truffles tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I have to go to sleep. Chat with you soon!

Treacherous Snow

Will had his doctor's appointment today, which would have been fine except it was snowing. Normally snow doesn't scare me, but this snow was turning into ice when it hit the floor. Not an ideal driving situation to say the least. There were so many cars slipping and sliding all around me that it scared the crap out of me.

I made it to the doctor's office just fine. This is Will's first snowstorm so I snapped a picture of him (look below). The visit went great. He's gained 3 lbs. in a month! My guy is weighing 17 lbs. and 6 oz. Wow! He also took his vaccines like a little man. The first shot was for polio. He didn't cry at all. The doctor and I were amazed. The second was the pneumonia shot and she told me it was going to be painful. This one he did cry, but it lasted about 30 seconds. I was so proud of him.

By the time we were out of the office, it was really coming down. I had to warm up and clean the car. I was driving on Kennedy Blvd (for you Jersey people, you know how dangerous it could be). Everyone on the road was driving slow enough even though there was salt on the ground. As I'm reaching my block and begin to slow down, my car decides that forward is not the direction it wants to go. Yup, I spun out and pretty much faced the opposite direction.

Luckily, there were no cars next to me. I braced for the impact, but it didn't happen. For what seemed like eternity, I prayed that if a car was going to hit us that it would hit me and not the back end of the car. I sat there very motionless and calm (I did not freeze; I was praying the baby wouldn't get hurt) considering that I was waiting for the impact (I always do that in extremely stressful situations).

Nothing happened! Like I said, there were no cars around me. The person behind me was about ten feet away. When the car finally did stop, I very carefully tried straightening out the car, except there were a few cars that decided to drive past me and not let me do this. I finally did straighten up, made a right turn, and made it home.

Well, I'll leave you with this precious picture of Will all bundled up:

Random Things

Sometimes, I attract strange situations. I'm kind of use to it. For instance, one day Dan, Cody (coworker friend), and I were walking through the subway to catch the 7 train. A homeless man is walking towards us swinging a bag. He's seems really into it. As we cross paths, he swings that bag right onto my head. Dan and Cody didn't notice because they were slightly ahead of me. What are the chances of getting smacked by a homeless man?

Yesterday, I was on my way to the bus standing in the corner waiting for the light to change. All of us that are standing on this corner are looking towards our left to see if there are any cars coming. As soon as the light turns green for us, I turn my head to walk forward and I end up eating some guy's shoulder. He hit me so hard across my nose that tears came to my eyes. It was so hard that my teeth ended up scraping his jacket. Can you believe this guy didn't even stop to ask me if I was ok? He just kept on walking as if nothing had happened. I yelled out in pain and was just amazed.

If I hadn't had my breast pump with me (it's basically a suitcase) and Will's milk in there, I would have seriously grabbed the guy and asked him what the fuck was wrong with him. This guy wasn't someone homeless where you could assume that he wasn't all there. He was a young guy dressed very nicely. A simple "I'm sorry" would have made me happy. How do you walk so close to someone that as soon as she turns her face she eats your shoulder? My nose was still red when I got to my parents' house.

Keeping with the weird theme, I was in the kitchen at my job filling up these microwavable bags with my pump stuff (they steam the stuff clean; it's pretty neat). Now, my pump bag is open and it's pretty clear what it is. This man walks in, looks at my bag, looks at me, and asks if I have something good in there. I was a bit stumped at this one and must have turned bright red. My answer was "No, I'm just cleaning up, but I did have something good." I don't know what kind of an answer that was, but I wanted him to leave me alone, which he did right afterwards. What did he mean? Maybe his wife nursed their children and he's totally in the know about this kind of stuff. I don't know, it was weird.

Hopefully, my day turns out to be normal without anyone hitting me or saying weird stuff to me. And now I must go back to sleep. I'm tired!

Will and I Surfing the Net

This picture was taken from my webcam! Will likes looking online! I decided to take advantage and snap a picture!

Can you believe my little guy will be 5 months old on Monday? Why is time flying by? These last five months have been the best! I love you Will!!!

Can Anyone Say....

Big Blue!What a game! Yay Giants! Last night was great all around. We had a couple of coworkers over and lots of food. I made empanadas, a mean ass chili (my own recipe) in biscuit bowls ( a la food network), and a double chocolate cake from epicurious. The guys left my place stuffed!

Another congratulations is in order to my friend Nat. Her and her man welcomed a beautiful baby girl on February 2nd. I went to visit them at the hospital yesterday and all are doing well. Caitlyn (the baby) is beautiful and yummy. She was born at 7 lbs 6 oz and a little over 20 inches. Nat and I have known each other for 24 yrs. Her daughter's birth is special to me. I wish them all the very best!

More Cooking

As I said in a prior post, I try making big meals that will last a few days. My evenings are so hectic that cooking every single night is not an option. With Dan now working for the Prudential Center doing the NJ Devils, MISL Ironmen (indoor soccer), and Seton Hall Basketball games, my evenings have become even more hectic. He still also works private parties at his uncle's lodge. So, I'm home alone quite often, which makes cooking not much of an option.

The other night I decided to make a pasta, which is a spin off of a great dish I tried at Umberto's Clam House with Sal. It is bowtie pasta with bacon and peas. The one served at the restaurant had onions, which I didn't add. First of all, I had run out of onions. Second of all, it didn't need it. However, I did add chicken to it. Anyway, I made a basic bechamel sauce. This I did by melting a half stick of butter and sauteing a good amount of minced garlic (five or six cloves) for a few minutes. Then, I added about three heaping tablespoons of flour, which I mixed together until it formed a nice thick paste. I added milk (about two to two and half cups). I then seasoned the sauce with salt, fresh cracked pepper, a bit of garlic powder (I love garlic), and nutmeg. I kept on stirring the sauce until it reduced and thickened.

The rest of the ingredients are pretty simple. With the chicken, I chopped it up into small medallions, which I seasoned with salt, pepper, thyme, garlic, red pepper flakes, and oregano. I sauteed the chicken with some olive oil. For the bacon, I used eight slices, which I had cut up and threw in a pan. There's not much to the bacon. The peas were thawed out, but not to the point that they were warm. I left them cold enough to have a crunch and threw them in with the pasta.

The end result was magnificent. Dan absolutely loved the pasta. I practically devoured it! I separated some for my mom, which she loved. The dish lasted for three days! Well, on the third day there was enough for one serving. Since Dan worked last night, it was all mine!!

This dish is very quick and simple. The only problem with it is that you will dirty several pots and pans, but the end result is worth it. Dan loved it so much that he wants me to write down exactly how I made it, which I guess I did now. I didn't use exact measurements on anything. I kind of went with my gut. My parents loved it so much that I promised them the next time I make it I will double the recipe for them.

Until my next recipe!

Another Pump Story

At around 12 pm, I had to go the public bathroom to pump. I'm there minding my own business when I hear a woman ask very quietly what the noise was. She's obviously talking to someone else and proceeds to say that it sounds like a recorder. A recorder? If that is what a recorder sounds like, then that's the noisiest recorder I've ever heard. Just because she came up with that answer, I remained quiet and never said it was my pump.

Apparently, people are very creative when it comes to deciphering noises. At least this one didn't try opening my door. I hate the bathroom!

On a sweet note, there's this lady who always asks me how me and the baby are doing. She saw me in the bathroom at some point today with my pump and told me that I was an excellent mother. She said that she could only last a week pumping after she returned to work. It was too difficult for her. The fact that I'm still doing impressed her. She said that Will is lucky to have me. How sweet is that?

Pumping has become so part of my routine that I don't think of it as a sacrifice. It's just part of me now. I do sometimes wish I didn't have to pump, but it's not such a big deal to me. I'm happy that I'm able to do this for my little guy.

Well, got to go! I must go pick him up from Grandma and Grandpa's.