Saturday, June 19, 2004

Hispanics

So most of you know what I do for a living (if that's what you want to call it). Basically, I spend the whole day talking on the phone. Not only do I spend the day chatting away, but I do with my fellow Hispanics or Latinos (whatever your preference is). The trend I've noticed that Hispanics do is divulge all of their life secrets to you. Now, I've never had a job where Americans start telling you personal details. Occasionally, I do take English calls, but they are straight to the point.

I had a woman tell me once that a close friend of hers saw Fidel Castro talk to a half-man, half-horse type of creature. She said it was the Devil, himself. Castro made a pact with the Devil and that's why so many Cubans die on their way over to the US. Castro offers their souls to him. The most incredible part of this story is, she wasn't Cuban!!!! Now, she told me this story so that I could then tell others, and let the world know the truth. I kept my part of the bargain. Hey, Hispanics keep their word. You know, she may be telling the truth. I'm no one to judge anyone's beliefs. Yeah, she kept me on the phone for about 15 minutes.

There was this other woman that kept me on the phone talking to me about how she doesn't want to talk to her family because they don't let her live her life. She went on to tell me how she use to be beautiful when she was young. When she lived with her sister (this is where the story just becomes weird) and her sister's husband, her sister use to make sure she was still a virgin. Now, I'm going to spare you the details because unless you're a psychiatrist, you shouldn't have to hear this. That was another 16 minutes.

The best story so far, is my suicidal lady. The woman is freaking out about God knows what. I can't remember. She kept on telling me that she wanted to get hit by a bus or jump out the window. Now, here I am thinking that this woman may be screaming out for help. So I keep her on the phone. She tells me she's nervous and took pills to calm down because of her bill. Don't people know they could always make payment arrangements? Anyways, then I realized that she was just crazy. After I fixed whatever the problem was, her voice became very calm. She began to tell me that I was infertile. She claims that I've been trying to get pregnant and that my heart had been broken. Now, I realized that she's nuts. I tell her that I have not been trying to get pregnant. In fact, I wasn't even married. Of course like all Hispanics, she asked if I was a virgin. My immediate answer was that I was and that's why I wasn't trying to get pregnant. She apologized and the conversation ended. That was another 16 minutes.

So as you see, Hispanics like talking on the phone. It amazes me all the dirty little secrets I hear. I can't explain it. I wish they could hear themselves talk. Would they continue on with their stories? Probably. Anyone who talks to a total stranger about their problems, when they are trying to resolve a billing problem is a little freaky. I apologize to those of you that do this. Remember next time you're on the phone with someone you don't know personally, don't tell them anything personal. They don't care!!!!! Trust me.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Okay, so the thought of having a webpage to share your thoughts is not something I would have thought about doing. I know you love us and miss us, but I figured a simple email or ocassional phone call would suffice. As I sit here trying not to wet my pants from your stories, I have realized 1) I really miss your randoms thoughts and stories and 2) your insanity makes mine seem much milder! I love you and can't wait to read more of your thoughts.